Friday, April 13, 2012

After a Thunderstorm

Rain is a rarity in southern California and for good measure. It has a tendency to severely disrupt normal day-to-day functioning.

Yet in spite of my distaste for rain, I love gazing at the sky after a thunderstorm in Los Angeles. It is ethereal. The powder white clouds painted upon an electric blue backdrop pierces through the sky normally smothered by a veil of gray haze. Purity descends upon the city and refreshing calm washes over.

The downpour outside has trapped me inside my apartment. Grocery shopping is simply not going to happen in the rain. And while there is an alarming dearth of food in my fridge, the rain has provided me ample time to sit and think. So I contemplate and attempt to clear my mind of, well... him.

They say that I am the most level-headed and non-emotional girl you will ever meet. That is, until I fall in love. Then I become almost manic-depressive, alternating between periods of highs and periods of lows, playing a constant game of he-loves-me, he-loves-me-not. I spend my free time analyzing every word he has said to me. Thoughts spiral through my head like a whirlwind - does he like me? Does he not like me? Are we just friends? Is there a spark? Is he ambivalent about our relationship? Is he kissing other girls? Am I playing too hard to get? Am I too obvious? Is he a gentleman? Is he a player? Or worse, is he a secret psychopath?

And just as the rain outside ceased and the sun shone through, my mind became clearer. While playing "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia on repeat, I've finally come to my senses. This is probably just a Vegas fling. I can't possibly like a guy of unknown character who has the opportunity to meet hundreds of girls every night. Rationally, I can't expect him to reciprocate my feelings.

It's time to collect my wits and return to normal before finals roll around. There, I'm done.

Song of the Day
Torn - Natalie Imbruglia

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